An Open Letter

I've never been one who measures the level of my success by the number of people that have ill will towards me aka "haters" but recently it seems that these"haters" are coming outta the wood work. Therefor this post serves as an open letter to those wack ass unfortunate individuals.

Dear Hater,

Sorry we haven't talked in a while but I've been busy doing me. I know that it sucks that I've been on my grind and haven't been paying you much attention. I just wanted to apologize for some of the things that have been an issue between us for such a long time. I think it would be a good idea to get everything out in the open, so that we both can have a lil bit of closure. 

First I want to apologize for the fact the trajectory of my life is far beyond what you can hope for yourself. I'm sorry that I dare to be different from you and the group of uninspired people that you run around with. Please excuse the fact that my interests are varied and eclectic which aide in my point of view being way different that what your used to.

I truly apologize for the fact that I have an overwhelming passion for the things that I decide to do with my time other than trying to be seen by a bunch of other non ambitious, non motivated ninjas. Please excuse the fact that my vernacular does not solely consists of words like "shawty" "bruh bruh" and "naww mean?" or that I actually know what it means to enunciate. I apologize for the fact that my fashion sense is based on fit, texture, comfort and style other than what's available at my neighborhood corner store. 

My apologies, for the fact, that who I am is not solely based on what organization I might belong to or the fact that without that organization I would still be the same fly ass individual. I'm sorry that my time is better spent on attempting to better myself and the lives of the people around me versus hanging out in the hall way ogling after the same girls that you see everyday, but have yet to  grow the balls obtain the courage enough to go and talk to.

From the bottom of my heart I truly am sorry and take full responsibility for my actions. It really does suck that I've warranted your ill will but unfortunately I will not amend who I am in order to fit into the prefabricated, unrealistic and contradictory definition of what it means to be a real ass "nigga".

Hope you can forgive me

Yours Truly

The Progression.

I Keeps Mine on Deck.

After receiving multiple inquiries from random people about the status of my blog I've been extremely motivated to return with some new posts. I do apologize for my month long absence, if you would like an explanation for my absenteeism: I'm an undergrad who's quickly approaching graduation. Do I really need to explain anything further...didn't think so. Now, lets get into today's post. 

Over the years I've amassed a certain wealth of knowledge when it comes to being an all around urban gentleman. I believe it is now my duty to pass this knowledge along to anyone who is so inclined to learn. But before we begin let us get something out the way...

***DISCLAIMER: This post is reserved for only individuals who have cars, if you don't have one, immediately turn off the computer and go make some money in order to buy one. No and I mean No woman wants a dude with no car, Period! Anybody that tells you different is lying to you and obviously does not care about your well being. The moral of this story is,  if you don't gotta whip she won't strip (S/O to 50 Tyson!)***

Now that we got that out the way let us proceed with the list. 

Top 7 Things Every Urban Gent Should Keep on Deck.

1. Breath Mints: These little buggers can be the difference between a great first impression and being given the cold shoulder of death.

2. Cologne: Trust me fellas, If I've learned anything from my conversations with the opposite sex it's that there is nothing better than a man that smells good. A signature scent can result in you having a lasting impression on that one sugar pie honey bun that you approached at Barnes and Noble self hep section last week. A good cologne can be one of those things that can get you the type of brand recognition that coca cola would kill for. Imagine, that anytime she smells your scent she thinks of you, even if another guy is wearing it...can you say gotcha b***h!  memories! With that being said invest in some good cologne none of that Flea Market 3 for $10 stuff, what your looking for oil based fragrances from a reputable maker.

3. Comb / Brush and Lotion: For those last minute touch ups. You definitely don't want to be in front of a lady of the night that you might be interested in with ashy elbows or a disheveled look.

4. A Change of Clothes: I suggest having at least 2 changes of clothes at the ready in your trunk. One that consists of athletic gear (Basketball shorts and a Tee) for those random games of pick up ball or sleep overs at your favorite lady's house or those random games of pick up balls while sleeping over your lady's house! (Rimshot!). Your second option should be some jeans and a button up with a light weight sweater that doesn't wrinkle easy.

5. A Blanket: Great way to spice up a wack after date hum drum drive home to a late night after dinner beach picnic. Que the looseness!

6. Your Favorite Personal Brand of Prophylactic: You never want to be caught without your swimming cap when your about to go underwater commence your long stroke (no Micheal Phelps).

7.Baby Wipes: Just in case things get messy. (From the beach you pervs)

  

That's all for now, Now go ahead and get your kit together. If I'm missing anything feel free to post a comment. 

P.S. The Ratchet Post will be featuring some guest writers in the near future. Look out  for some new voices and points of view. 

Until Next Time

See You At The Top

The Progression

What About Your Friends?

Most people would agree that a persons friends or associates can reveal alot about that person about who that person is. But it's also be safe to say that most people also believe that a person should be based on their own merit. This conundrum of sorts is a topic that lead me to today's question. Can a lady be friends with a hoe?

During my back breaking investigative research (Which is the exact reason why I haven't posted anything in so many weeks) which pretty consited off talks with a bunch of female friends usually over a nice meal, car rides or any other place that good conversation is accepted. The results of my research have been inconclusive. So I decided to bring it to the masses (posed in my unique style of course!)

When we're talking about hoes we're not talking about the undercover, wanna be sophisticated hoes who manage to keep their business out of the street (bless their hearts...J/K) but on the contrary we're referring to the Skeezy, I don't give a care, anytime, anywhere, anybody type of hoes that run rampant in our communities now-a-days (and don't you dare act like you don't know what I'm talking about!)?

Suppose you both had the same major and are compatible with each other on every factor that modern friendship is based upon these days. Similar socioeconomic backgrounds, similar tastes in fashion, clothing, music, etc. Lets go as far as to say that the friend in question is pretty much a good person, loyal, trustworthy and meets every other requirement for BFF status. Her only flaw is that she's  trrifflin' as H E double hockey sticks! I mean she gets in it! And I mean REALLY GETS IT IN! She just doesn't have her name on the men's bathroom wall "Call _______ for a good time!" she has a Facebook fan page dedicated to it.

Now if you ask me for my opinion (which by the way of you reading my blog you kinda sorta are!) I'll say ladies NO you cannot be friends with a hoe. The reason is that people compartmentalize and judge. They say the line between how things are and how things should be is a very thin and in this case its true. Is it fair that even though you don't partake in any hoe like activities that you be judged based on the actions of another (No), but unfortunately that's exactly what happens. People have a tendency to place things and people in groups, people have been doing it since the beginning of time, what makes you think they are gonna stop now.

To keep it funky can you really call someone your friend if you won't even let them use the silverware drink out the glass cups at the house? (No Supahead), Whenever the come over your bresaking out the Dixie cups (SMH).
I just want to know what are the benefits if any of having a hoe as a friend? Maybe they help with self esteem, or maybe they assist in weeding out unscrupulous boyfriends...I don't know, I'm just brainstorming!

For any ladies out there that would disagree with me, I have a challenge. Find one of your hoe-i-ess friends, invite her over. While your at it invite your boyfriend over too. Make up an excuse to leave for and extended period of time leaving the two of them unsupervised. Go ahead,  I double dare you!
 (**Warning if you accept this challenge The Ratchet Post is not liable for the ultimate demise of your relationship or any varial disease that might be transmitted**)

I'd love to hear everyone's take on this one.
Leave a comment and let me know how you feel!

Until Next Time
The Progression

Observations from the first day of school.

Being that I am a college student (Not for too much longer, if December would hurry up and get here!) from time to time this blog will reflect the exeperinces gained from my tenure at my particular institution of higher learning. Today was the first day of school and boy O boy was it eventful. Not eventful in the "oh sh** they shootin' kinda way but eventful in the "damn I can't believe she wore that in daylight" kinda way. Some things that I noticed while making my way to and from classes today, were ratchet enought to deserve honorable mention on this particular platform.

1. Lace-fronts must die: For all the ladies out there, if you have not heard this message before someone has done you a huge disservice. I'm sorry but just because Beyonce does it doesn't mean that you should too. I've seen some good lace-fronts but I've also seen some horrific ones. I saw one today that I was so appalled by that I was tempted to take a picture of it but sometimes those things can be like the abominable snowman, elusive as hell! (She was quick...I couldn't get my camera out fast enough!)

2. Booty Shorts:
Ladies I know  it's hot... but please let the strawberry shortcake breath. If I see another camel toe walking down the breezeway I'm gonna start walking around with scissors to set them free. (Of course I'm Kidding But I'm Just Sayin')

3. Ninjas on the Breezeway:
Now I was a freshman once and believe me, I know the draw that the Breezeway has on the young unsuspecting brother who on the first day of classes was bombarded by all the female student body has to offer. But to all my fellow collegiate brethren please refrain from becoming the guy that looks like a permanent fixture on the breezeway. If on my way to class you're there, and on my way to my next class you're there and and my way to my third class your there again, in my book and the girls you try to holla at you're a looser. Gentlemen,  friends don't let friends hang out on the breezeway!

4. Rain will stop a black woman from getting an education:
Being that my university is located in South Florida, torrential rains are not uncommon occurrences for us. But for some reason whenever we do get a little drizzle everyone acts brand new. I understand not wanting to get wet, but for some reason a large majority of the black women on my campus will not move from building to building when it's raining. I guess it has something to do with getting their books wet  0_o

5. Freshman = Blessing and a Curse:

College Freshmen pose a quite perplexing conundrum to college life. I love 'em because they add some new blood to the population, According to 2 Live Crew " Ain't no Pu$$* like new Pu$$*" but at the same time they make parking unbearable because they have no idea what the hell they are doing or going. With that being said I decided to say a little prayer for all the new faces running around campus "May God bless their little hearts and protect them from the Kappa's...amen!".

That Is All For Today

See You at the Top
The Progression

P.S. For Employment purposes I've decided to jump back on the twitter bandwagon. So act like I'm the Pied Piper and follow me @yung_mogul_ceo

Your Chick Chose Him

Sweet Strawberry Shortcake

OK so here's the situation: a guy finds out his special lady friend is sharing her sweet strawberry shortcake with some other guy behind his back. Of course his natural reaction is that of hurt quickly followed by waves of anger followed by more intense feeling of hurt (assuming he really liked her). I'm sure we all can sympathize with this poor fellow but this is where that guy looses this guy's support.  He begins to take his anger out on the guy that's sharing in his pastry delight.


Gentlemen, I don't know how many times I can say this, If your gonna be mad at somebody, if your girl cheats, don't be mad at the other guy. Just because of the simple fact that he's doing what he's supposed to do. Yup that's right for all you men out there with girlfriends, it will always be you against them. It's the job of the single male to get as much [INSERT ANY DESIRED EUPHEMISM FOR VAGINA HERE] as possible and not to care whether or not the chick he's getting it from has a man.

I know it might be hard to hear but it's that dudes job to try and take your chick. I know some critics out there would say "Well shouldn't a man respect the sanctity of the relationship that the women is in?...Shouldn't the man have some type of respect for her boyfriend?"

My answer to that is a resounding nope!

Here's why...it's a jungle out there and its everyman for himself, and as they say "All is fair in love and war",  yeah so maybe whats going on between your girl and that male jumpoff of hers might not be love but you get my point.

I take you to the vast plains of Africa. A lion is skillfully stalking his prey, camouflaging himself in the tall grass. Meanwhile an unsuspecting gazelle walks by. The lion, without a second thought pounces on the gazelle and lets just say that the lion has his way with the shone like gazelle*.

*What the hell was the gazelle doing out the in the open anyway, that gazelle should have been at the house.

Now the moral of the story is that you wouldn't be mad at a lion for eating a gazelle, why because any one with a basic cable subscription to animal planet knows that a lion pouncing on a gazelle is apart of that lion's nature. That lion didn't stop to think about what commitment that gazelle made to another gazelle, nope all he thought about was getting on top of it and doing his thing.  Same can be said for the single men out there...it's within their nature. Stop expecting them to give a damn about what that chick means to you or the relationship that you have built, he's not supposed to care.

It saddens the heart when a situation like this arises and the blatant displays of misplaced anger are on exhibition by a man putting himself into harms way with another man who by all accounts is bigger and stronger than he is just because the big guy bagged his chick. That's not who you should be mad at bruh bruh. That man made no commitment to you, he wasn't lying beside you in bed telling you this once you da' illest da for dat dat dude (no Nicki "Flow tighter than a d$@k in the butt" Minaj). No, that man was just trying to get him some strawberry shortcake! Your chick chose him homie, so move on and figure out whether or not you really wanna deal with that chick. Whether you stay with her or leave that's on you just make sure your not barking up the wrong tree next time she's passing out the shortcake like free samples at the homeless food kitchen (Rimshot).


S/N: I didn't feel right leaving you with some tips on ways to stop a lion from feeding on your gazelle. Maybe if you treat your gazelle right she might not wonder off to the vast plains to get gobbled up by natural predators. Gentlemen treat your gazelle right, if you don't want another lion to pounce...that is all...Read into that whatever you will...IJS

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng.

See You at the Top
The Progression

Please stop the LIES!

 Everyday we are all lied to, and I'm just about fed up!
Today's post is a list of the top 5 lies that run rampant in our community (almost as bad as lacefront weaves!)

1. The Body Count
Ladies and gentlemen please stop lying about your body count.
Well If you don't know what a body count is please allow me to enlighten you to the vernacular. Simply put one's body count is the total aggregate number of sexual partners one has accumulated over one's lifetime. Now to be clear I do not advocate that a gentleman should ask a lady her body count or vice-versa, BUT if the topic HAPPENS to come up in conversation (Kanye shrug!), please keep it real. Ladies to be honest, this particular situation is not particularly in your favor because for the most part any number you give is normally gonna be looked at with a sense of skepticism, IJS!. Whatever number you give, I'm adding 3 to it just in an effort to bring it to a more realistic figure.


2. Baller status
Gentlemen please stop frontin'! I see you in VIP poppin' bottles (Shout out to Mia Lounge) but I also see the cubic zirconia in your ear and the key to that KIA Geo on your key ring. If you cant go to the ATM and withdraw money because you have less than $20, in your account #1 please don't let me catch you in the club and #2 take yourself inside and fill out that withdrawal slip (Get your money bruh bruh!) Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that you can't present your best image but it needs to be based in reality not a rap video.

3. Givin' Wood
This one is directed at thoses BGLO's out there (Yeah I said it). If you are not aware BGLO stands for Black Greek Letter Organizations. I Like BGLO's and I have a bunch of friends that belong to these type of organizations but the one lie that is prevalent among these organizations, that they attempt to feed the general public is the one about not hazing...(Child please. Ocho Cinco!). C'mon guys, we all have a cousin, brother, sister or close friend that put us on to game. You know it's really funny how all these non-hazing organizations exist but yet newly initiated members love to brag and compare about how "REAL" their pledge process was...SMH!

4. The Ultimater Merger
Recently I got put on to a show that premiered on TV One this year. That's Omorosa's dating show "The Ultimate Merger". The thing about this show that that throws me off is that I cannot believe the lie that all these "eligible bachelors" actually want this chick. She's not that good looking and her personality is as delightful as a pit bull in heat.

SN: To be honest the show is absolutely ridiculous but I like to compare it to bad car accident. You don't want to look but you cant help but to. Here's a link to where you all can get caught up on all the delightful ratchetness. But to give you an idea of the level of looseness that you are in store for, all I'm gonna say is that one of the contestants fighting for Omorosa's "love" is Al B Sure! that's right Al B motherf***ng Sure! Mr. Day and Night himself...If that's not enough to get you watching I don't know what is.

5. BP
On a political note, These are the biggest liars of the year. You mean to tell me that we can put a man on the moon but we can't plug an oil leak...gimme a break. F**K BP! and may the souls of all the dead fishies haunt their dreams for eternity! (I know, I know Pause on me).

There you are good readers...my to list of  lies that I can't stand...feel free to leave your own list in the comment section below.

Until Next Time

See You At The Top!
The Progression

Why You and Not Me?

So first things first, I want to apologize for being a very bad blogger for the past couple of weeks. Lets just say I was experiencing serious technical difficulties and by technical difficulties I mean being distracted by every distraction the summer could conjure (No Luda) up.
Anywhooo, I'm Back and I know that you all have missed me so lets get into it.

The other day me and one of my favorite homegirls had another one of those infamous conversations. The topic was the proverbial urban version of the "if a tree falls in  the forest?" question.

***Disclaimer: Not an exact transcript of the conversation as it happened in real life. Serious creative license was taken in the reproduction of this event***

Favorite Homegirl: Oh benevolent wise one I have a question!
The Progression: Speak young grasshoppa'
FHG: I love sex
TP: That's not a question but yeah me too!
FHG: But you know whats soo efffed up?

TP: No, what?

FHG: Why is it that when a guy has sex with a bunch a girls nobody says nothin' but if a girl does it she's a hoe, a shone, a slut, or my all time personal favorite a slore*?

*The clever combination of slut and whore usually added for dramatic effect.

Now the solution to this conundrum I believe is quite simple. The reason why the sexually active ladies of the world get the short end of the unfair label stick is due to the fact that.... (drum roll please!)
LADIES HAVE THE POWER TO ACCEPT OR DENY SEX.

Let me explain, When it comes to male / female consensual sexual relations, it's always ladies choice on whether or not sex will take place. The man's job usually revolves around propositioning and presenting the lady with a choice, The lady in-turn has the power to accept or deny this sexual advance, it is out of this power that the trouble exists.

Men (not including the Idris Elba's and Morris Chestnut's of the world) usually have to make some type of deliberate effort when it comes to having sex. All the ladies have to do is sit back and give the panties thumbs up or down on whether or not she's gonna tickle his Elmo. With that being said, that is why when some men have an exorbitant number of sexual conquest, in some social circles he is celebrated as a pimp, player or stud. The reason being is that  it's assumed that he has employed some type of skill or prowess in order to return victorious in his quest for the ever illusive ILL NANA (Shout out to Foxy Brown...even though she might not hear me!)

Lets be honest, if a woman says yes to every man that propositions her for sex and is willing to treat at the local neighborhood Applebee's, that puts her in the "loose women who men don't intend to marry box" This box is very similar to the "Just Friends" box that many women put unsuspecting "nice guys who they are just not that into" in to. The similarity between these two boxes are that they are both impenetrable fortresses where escape is damn near impossible. Now I know some of you will be tempted to hit me with the whole " I just like to sexually express myself" or the "I believe in sexual freedom and equality" card  but please don't, because that stuff will get rejected like an autographed Miami Heat jersey of Lebron James at a Cleveland Fan Convention. For men it's a numbers game, the more pitches you throw the more your chances for success increase. So it is within the best interest of that man to cast as many seeds as possible in order to hopefully reap some future reward. Women definitely do not have to put in this much effort. All a woman has to do is practice basic personal hygiene and the probability of her getting some exponentially outnumbers that of the average man. Hands down women are the final authority when it comes to sex and with that authority comes the charge and expectation to effectively manage their sexual sanctity.

Deal with it, it's not gonna change, ever! So for anyone who has taken up the personal crusade to prove this standard otherwise by saying "Hey look at me I'm a woman who get's it in with as many dudes as I can handle in one day, and I'm not a shone because I handle my business" All I can say to you is keep that up and good luck finding somebody willing to claim you in public boo boo!

So Ladies I know it's not easy out there but here is some insight to the misunderstood double standard that has plagued some of you for God knows how long...now at least you can come to terms with why it exists. A final word to the wise would be to say no more than you say yes, I'm Just Sayin'.

**Gentlemen your not off the hook just yet. For the record men can be shones to! This happens when they demonstrate indiscriminate behavior regarding whom and when they have sex in a manner that is unbecoming of a new urban gentleman. but I guess this tip applies to everybody: Have standards and treat your Goodies like it's from Tiffany's not Walmart. Have a guard at the door and don't give summer BLOWout sales (Rim Shot!)

Until next time
See You at The Top
-The Progression